Oh Sis, what a season. Am I right? During this weird time, everything can seem so out of balance. You know what can also be unbalanced? Relationships with others.

I have found that during this pandemic, my moods have been a rollercoaster. It’s been difficult to balance and navigate but it’s also had it’s beautiful moments. I have hit slumps of being the worst friend known to man and found myself needing to quickly rebuilt those relationships by simple communication. It’s times like these that I truly know I have friends that are pure soul sisters and love me for all of my inconsistancies and flaws.

When you are 35, some friends may have not made it to this chapter- which can be heartbreaking Some friends have just entered and some will make their way back in. This is the beautiful part.

We should embrace this season of our lives, even in this crazy world we are living in and LIFT each other up. Are you with me?

I was prompted by a movement going on this week in the Instagram world right now. A women supporting women movement and tagging others that they want to support and posting a picture of yourself. What seems like a silly movement actually really got my wheels turning.

It got me thinking, I needed to take a look inward. This movement had me reflect on all the incredible women who have shaped me, cheered for me, told me things I didn’t want to hear because they loved me, empowered me, cried with me, cried for me, laughed with me, and laughed at me. Women are amazing and the bond that we have is something that you cannot explain.

There was a specific get together with someone this year and when I left, what should have been a time together where I felt renewed, left me feeling judged, which made me sit there and judge others and speak negatively in order to compensate for how I was allowing the other person to make me feel.

When I am not with a friend, am I someone they can trust 100%? When I am with others, do I whisper behind others backs, judge, make smart remarks, or judgmental undertones? I know I have. I know you have. THIS my friends is what we NEED to do better.

My mission for you: To be a woman other women can TRUST. This doesn’t just mean trust with their secrets. This means having the courage to tell that person directly when she has offended you, hurt or disappointed you. This creates truth and life in a friendship and allows your friends to rip you open and still love everything that they see. This creates a loyal tribe with women who are honest, one backing the other. I want honest women behind me, lifting me UP. Not haters. Not backstabbers or women whispering behind my back. In return, I want to respond appropriately if that is going on around me. Can we fuel the fire or can we put the fire out? Are we perfect, heck no. But – let’s be better!!!

Why do we need to change this cycle?

We need to be role models.

We need to think of these little people who are watching and listening to us. What are they seeing? What are they hearing? (Even when you think they are not). We are paving the way for our children. Let’s show our daughters how we need to act towards other females. How we stand 100% united, help one another, no matter what.

 

But where does the judging come from on the other end?

It’s like a dark cloud hovering over your head following you around

The root of anything that causes pain is f e a r .

Fear of being seen as insecure or weak.

Fear of not being good enough.

Fear of failure of success.

Fear of not being smart, the list is never ending.

Can you relate?

 

When we judge others, does it get you anywhere? no – its a dead end guys.

 

There is not kindness here, and no solution to a problem when we do it. It’s just another way of pulling someone down to where your standing so you don’t feel bad about yourself for your lack of action <- Read that again… It’s the ULTIMATE waste of everyone’s time.

We are strongest when we cheer each other on. Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another. Why have we strayed so far from this concept? I am so wrapped in this because it’s so easy to grab a glass of wine with someone and speak poorly of another. I find myself slipping and doing so, only to get home to analyze my words and feel awful because it wasn’t how I truly felt, I was feeding something else or someone else. Can you relate?

How did we start doing this? It’s absolutely toxic. How do we nip this guys?

These are the steps I am taking to eliminate this in my life:

As I have learned through my years of behavior training from teaching, when you remove something negative you have to replace it with something else for it to be effective.

Removing- judgement

R e p l a c i n g   i t   w i t h : 

Sticking with the Truth: You’re the only one who knows all of you. Love every side of you. You wouldn’t hurt and judge your best friends, right?

Rise Above it All: If someone inflicts plain, they are in pain. THIS IS SIMPLE!

SEE their pain, but don’t become one with it.

What do you  usually do when you see someone in pain? Do just that.

Forgive: Please remember to forgive. Can we imagine what life would be like if Jesus did not die for our sins? Every piece of our broken lives are forgiven.

Forgiving others gets easier after you see and feel their pain. You don’t kick someone in pain who’s on the ground. Instead, extend a helping hand. Don’t add to to the pain.

The result: When I stop gossip, stop negative talk, stop judgement – I feel genuine happiness for others and I can feel their happiness in my soul like its my own and I can also feel their pain, physical pain- like it’s my own.

Without even knowing this was a blog topic that was in the works, my mama sent this to me. Its a section she highlighted in her bible. A coincidence she knew I needed it? I don’t think so. Thank you Mama.

Read and absorb it!

Let’s be better .

Let’s cheer each other on because it takes strength and grace to remain kind in negative situations.

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