Our Energy & Our Mind – a journal entry

Sometimes I write myself something to encourage or to help stay focused on a certain area that I think I need focusing on. Lately I have been giving a bit too much focus to other things and I needed to reel it in. Holding ourselves accountable and calling ourselves out is a bit helpful. I figure it would be beneficial to call myself out in front of you and share a journal entry with you.

From Me to YOU . . .

Everything around us is energy – we are energy, you are energy.

And all the energy inside you communicates with that which is around you on so many levels. We communicate energetically by simply standing next to other people. And the way we communicate is so subtle, that we are not aware of just how much of our energy is affected by the presence of the people around us. You know those people that just fill your bucket by just sitting by them or the people who make you want to hide in a hole and drive straight to xanax just by being in the same 4 walls with them? Literally no action causes these things – just subtle presence.

When I think of this, I think about how our kids just need us present instead of a full day of special activities. Even though thats all great and they love it– at the end of the day they just want to feel loved and just want US. Sometimes the presence of us trumps any other energy we put forth.

Come to think of it, you must have noticed how nice you feel when you’re around a positive person, even if that person doesn’t necessarily do or say something special. The same happens when you’re around someone whose negatively polarized energy is sucking all the positive mindset out of you.

I have talked about this recently but it’s something that I am REALLY trying to focus on and its focusing where I spend my energy. Am I spending time scrolling and comparing? Am I spending my time looking at what others are doing and I am not? Am I spending energy caring what others have and I don’t? Am I hyper-focused on what other moms are doing and I am not? Am I spending quality, unplugged time with my family? Some of the distractions in your life have only one purpose: to take your energy away from the positive things and place it into weariness, anger, depression and anxiety. You may think its a bad season, but you may be putting your energy into the wrong things causing emotions that are hard to dig out from.

I have been there, I have had to dig out of a deep hole that I have put myself in after much energy into comparison, not living my truth, not knowing who I am, not being enough for myself or others and being my toughest, worst critic.

So, as a mom & woman I want to relay to my daughters and to you– by my example to not leave space for the things that leave me feeling empty. I am at the age where I simply cannot spend my energy on things that do not fill me.

Which simplifies this a bit because — Jesus is our ultimate bucket filler!

No one else in our life is able to fill us – not in the way that we need to be filled.

You see, we can’t fill anyone else’s bucket when ours is empty– And we can’t expect others to keep our buckets filled.  They will fail to recognize our needs, they will disappoint us, and it’s an unfair expectation for us to have of them. The one who offers us living water will never disappoint us because He knows everything about us!

He knows exactly where we are feeling the emptiest each day, and he has just what we need to fill our bucket.  Not only will he fill us, but he’ll give us enough to share. Jesus tells us, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me . . . streams of living water will flow from within him”, (John 7:7).

The one rock that stands true to fill me is Christ. We cannot leave space for things that leave us feeling void. These things will pass away.

There is a war waging all around us competing for our time, our energy and our mind.

Be careful what you let in.

Be careful what you let consume your energy.

You are energy. You are strong energy.


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