Setting Goals Instead of Resolutions

For many people, a new year is a fresh start, a do-over of sorts, that motivates you to try something new or to recommit to those tasks you put on hold because you made so many excuses were too busy tending to more important things. Bigger than that, some people had a tough year- some wouldn’t even use tough as a strong enough word. A do-over is out of their control. BUT- We can choose to move forward with positive and God-filled thinking.

This decade was insanely amazing and an abundance of blessings.

This year was a roller coaster for me personally it was one of the hardest, laced with immense blessings which made it feel a little hard to navigate those two strong feelings.

I was blessed with identical twin girls. A surprise of a lifetime. Double the dirty diapers, bottles and lack of sleep but goodness it is worth the double amount of love God has provided.

I was challenged as a mom and a wife. I learned how strong I actually am.

My husband and I truly understood what it was like to really work as a team.

I had to find myself and who I was without teaching special needs and not being a working mom.

I gained three sister in laws. Each one of them is so different and so important in my life. I need all of them for so many reasons. I’m so thankful for them!

I found myself called to WRITE, to connect, to start a blog for Mamas like me. It has been rewarding and fulfilling in so many ways. I am thankful for the community built. I am proud of the confidence built within me and the changes I have seen in myself.

I needed to step up as a sister, daughter and sister in law as we had some life altering mental health challenges in our immediate family. I needed to learn about mental health, addiction, grace, unconditional love. We all saw the beauty on the other side after strong commitment to one another and to God. God showed his beautiful face on the other side. GRATEFUL!!!!

I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends. I had to watch his wife– my very best friend lose her soulmate to depression. In tragedy, I got to watch how graceful my friend has handled grief, motherhood and navigating her faith through intense pain. I got to see how beautiful her soul is in the raw. I had to step up as a best friend when I didn’t and still don’t know how. I had to grieve.

I had to trust GOD like I had never trusted before. I had to cling onto every word in the bible.

I had to learn that my response to blessings and trials were extremely important. Was I responding to both the way God has taught me?

This year was a year of CHALLENGE but when I reflect, I am grateful for the lessons. Without this year, I wouldn’t be me. God makes every day NEW! You cannot even put a gauge on the love that has grown out of this year.

In saying all of this – a simple resolution won’t do.

When we talk about the new year, one word often comes to mind: resolutions.

You may ask your friends or co-workers about their New Year’s resolutions, finding that yours are similar to theirs: lose weight, get out more, save money. But, what exactly are resolutions? To make a resolution is to resolve to do something. The dictionary says that to resolve is “to make a definite and serious decision to do something.” That sounds promising. But, what happens after you’ve made that decision? How do you carry it out? I can assure you I don’t carry out much of what I say I am going to “resolve”.

This year – I am sharing my thoughts and views on our new decade & what I am focusing and aiming towards.

Instead of making resolutions, I am setting measurable goals in hopes that this will more likely lead to success in seeing them come to fruition. I am making my resolutions into goals to set for myself this year and the coming years. I am setting the framework for how I want to live and how I am going to get there—much much more than a gym membership this time around.

Something I still hold closely after working for Florida Virtual School are SMART goals.

When it comes to goal setting, S.M.A.R.T. is a familiar acronym for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-sensitive. Too often, people set goals that are vague and unrealistic. Not only does this lead to frustration, but it also decreases the likelihood of actually achieving the goal. The S.M.A.R.T. method can be applied to a variety of goals, whether professional or personal, giving you the tools you need to succeed in your goal setting endeavors.

The daily details of life is enough to rattle even the most skilled multi-tasker.

With school events, family gatherings, kids’ sporting events, and household chores, life is truly a juggling act. Still, we manage to fall into the routine of getting those things done without a need to write them down.

When it comes to goals, however, we are not very likely to simply fall into a routine. Achieving goals involves deviating from the daily monotony, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and challenging yourself. Writing down your goals allows you to free up some of that mental clutter so that you can visualize those things that you want to achieve. Also, tracking your progress by checking things off will give you a sense of accomplishment, motivating you to keep going. So, pull out that journal that has been collecting dust and write down those goals!

When you are working towards improving your life, it is common to compare yourself to other people. Your perception is that they are superior to you, or more privileged in some way. The social media phenomenon doesn’t help; your ‘news feed’ overflows with announcements of your friends’ new love interests, weight loss, and new jobs, quickly turning you into a green-eyed monster. How does this serve you, exactly?

Let me help answer that– It doesn’t.

When you compare yourself to others, you rob yourself of time you could be spending on your own self-improvement. It is also important to keep in mind that everyone’s journey is different; although we have similar destinations, our paths are often quite different. Follow your own path.

My husband once shared something he read– “successful people don’t fear failure but understand that it is necessary to learn and grow from.” Setting goals involves learning what you need to do in order to achieve personal growth. Embracing failure by seeing it as a necessary part of achieving your goals will only make you stronger and more resilient as you continue on your road to towards achieving your goals.

Big success is made up of small victories.

If your weight loss goal is 20 lbs, chances are that you will not lose it all at once. Still, you can celebrate your pants fitting a little looser every week. Having goals is important; however, we don’t stop living while we pursue them. Life happens while you are in the midst of seeing your dreams realized. Don’t allow your focus on the outcome to keep you from enjoying the process.

In addition to setting specific goals, I like to choose a word or even phrases to live by. I write these down as reminders for myself as foundation of who I am striving to be and to grow myself for that year. My best friend does this and she is the post it Queen. I have written before that she has the most encouraging notes to herself in her car. I always have admired that and the foundation she has as a women of Christ.

This has been more important to me than any resolution setting.

I wanted to share my foundation goals with you.

Be the person who breaks the cycle
Choose acceptance
Be the person you needed when you were hurting, not the person who hurt you.
Act from you heart, not your pain.
Don’t shrink to fit places you have outgrown.
Be thankful for your past struggles- without it you wouldn’t have stumbled across your strength.
Make a habit of shutting down convos that tear others down.
Perfection paralyzes potential
Nobody makes a difference by being like everyone else.
Do your best and know that doing your best means different things on different days.
Live and walk in God’s grace.